Divorce In 2013

Gay people face complications, and cases of collaborative divorce are rising.

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Meghan Freed.
Photo:Chion Wolf
Debra Ruel.
Photo:Chion Wolf
Fran Calafiore.
Photo:Chion Wolf
Divorce In 2013
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Divorce In 2013

Let me tell you about my Christmas Day this year. In the morning, I drove my significant other to the airport so she could fly to L.A. and see her grandchildren. Then I drove out to Canton to the home of my ex-wife and her significant other. My son and his girlfriend went there too, and we proceeded to have an absolutely lovely Christmas Day.

In the evening, it got even more complicated. All of us wound up at the home of my ex-brother-in-law and ex-sister-in law. As is the case every year, there was singing around the piano that involved everybody I mentioned, plus my brother in law's first wife, his sister and her ex-husband and a whole bunch of kids from everybody's different marriages. It sounds crazy, but that's how we do it every year, and everybody has a really good time. Which is not to minimize how sad divorce is. 
Today, the state of divorce in 2013. 
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All I can say is that divorce is the hardest thing I've ever experienced. it is certainly not for the faint of heart. I'm not certain how anyone can be married and divorced time and time again. It brings welling up emotions I had long buried and has been difficult on everyone in the family, as well as those friends and extended family who stand ready to support us.


I tuned into your program this afternoon anticipating a humorous bit from Ms. Wolf to kick things off. Your comment that you felt it best to forego your usual opening due to the seriousness of the day's subject matter was, in my view, ill advised. I was divorced from my second wife last July. A few weeks prior to that, I was laid off my job, and have yet to find work. These days I ache for more humor vis a vis my circumstances not less. Unless you're about to discuss the imminent death of someone's child or puppy, I would encourage you go ahead and offer up a laugh or two whenever possible.


Possibly an unusual anecdote, my ex and I are better friends now after the divorce than we were in the last year of our marriage. The breakdown was mutual, each of us brought unique problems and we werent able to overcome them. Rather than go for the throat, we sat down at the kitchen table one night and split the assets, debts and pets. The whole process cost the filing fee and various little expenses related to the splitting of a household. There wasn't a lack of love, just a deep and unersolvable Incompatibility - I'm in the process of changing my gender, and she didn't want a wife. Without the burden of each of us trying to fill roles we didn't want, our friendship has rebounded nicely.